Welcome! It’s Friday blog time!
It’s been yet another busy week here. Jo and I have been thinking about the fact that she doesn’t have time to reflect on what’s holding her back. The subject of this blog gave her an excuse to do just that! In Web to Success Jo touches on this several times...
Quotes from Web to Success.
‘Developing awareness of any assumptions we hold about other people is an important part of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness means that we can’t ignore the assumptions we make about ourselves either.’
‘The first step is to assess what we’re really saying, in other words, to listen to ourselves. What’s our mind telling us? Are our thoughts negative and therefore making us feel bad? Or is our mind in a glass half full mode and looking on the bright side? To help in doing this, we can sit quietly and listen to what we’re thinking. Make sure our surroundings are quiet and right for concentration. If it’s too hard to concentrate, then standing in front of a mirror and describing to ourselves how we look and listening to what we’re saying helps. Are the things we say to ourselves, about ourselves, positive or negative? Are we saying ‘I love my hair like this?’ Or ‘My hair looks a mess.’ If our thoughts are consistently negative, that’s a sign we should re-evaluate how we think.’
In particular the section on Spirituality and Identifying Core Beliefs is very relevant. If you haven’t read the book then head to the Book page on this website and grab a copy!
‘Why is identifying core beliefs important to our spiritual lives? They are important because they lie at the centre of our soul, supporting our values and influencing our emotions.’
While thinking about her own limitations Jo wrote this week’s blog from some of the reference material from the book and from her own thoughts on the subject.
Are the limitations of our beliefs, fear of failure, or lack of courage holding us back? Are we stuck in a rut, out of our comfort zone and struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel? I certainly feel like that sometimes. So let’s look at what’s happening. Do we say we’ve tried to change our life? Are we ‘trying’ hard enough? Do we say we want success in life? Do we really believe we can have it? Do we know and believe that we deserve it? Are we prepared to do whatever it takes to get it?
We need to forget our fear of failure, fear of judgment of others, fear of not being good enough or deserving enough. Stop making excuses, stop waiting for something magical to happen to us. If we do nothing to change things, if we don’t take action, we’ll continue to get the same stuff. We must break our invisible chain. Expand and stretch ourselves beyond our existing comfort zone. If we do one thing each day that scares us a bit then we’ll find our belief and confidence grows, and our world grows with it. We have the power within us to make our wildest dreams and goals come true limitations exist in our mind only, and the change in our life starts with us!
So what do we need learn to overcome our limits? Think about children for a moment...
Children aren’t afraid of experimenting and thinking outside the box. It’s important to rediscover that creativity re-learn how to think like a child. It‘s important to learn how to create without fear, to be free from limitations, and to do things we feel passionate about. But what should we learn if we want to get rid of our limits? Children possess an abundance of curiosity for the things around them. They look at everything, they touch everything and they explore everything. They never stop. Thanks to that curiosity, their ability to learn is unlimited. We need to overcome the fear of being wrong. Children are not afraid of making mistakes. We learn to be afraid of making mistakes as we grow up and get the idea that a mistake is something bad. It’s also necessary to learn and recognize that a mistake can be a very valuable experience, and can even be a success in itself. We should do everything with passion.
Focusing on the things we feel passionate about greatly improves the results we get. If we don’t feel passionately about the role we have now, maybe it is time to change it and to be honest about what we really love doing. Learn to play. A child will play with anything from a simple cardboard box to a fancy new toy, they never stop exploring new things. As adults we have lost the ability to enjoy and play in order to learn. We continuously say to ourselves things like “I can’t,” “I am not able,” which constantly reinforces our self-imposed limits.
This is a great article (link below) with an awesome story, it’s short and well worth a read
I found this on LinkedIn and it sums it up for me...
Your Limits Exist Only In Your Mind (Published on July 21, 2016 Erika Steil)
‘The mind has great influence over the body, and maladies often have their origin there’ ~ Moliere.
The body hears everything the mind says. If your mind can talk your body into being sick - what else are you talking yourself into our out of? What does your self talk look like? Are you a glass half empty or half full person? Perhaps you've never before considered that this small distinction in personality type can make a huge difference in what you accomplish in life. Not because you can or can't accomplish more but because you believe that you can or can't.
When you doubt, when your glass is half empty - you tell yourself that you can't and then you start to believe that you can't. You tell yourself stories that your mind starts to believe. You internalize these stories and they become part of your identity. If the stories you are telling yourself are negative this will begin to reflect itself in your life and your outcomes.
There is power in positivity. When you start to take stock and control of your self talk, and the stories to begin to tell yourself are positive, your mind and body will respond in kind. You will start to see things more positively. You will start to have better outcomes. Your positivity will attract positive things and people to your circle and you will begin to understand and believe that you can - you can do anything you set your mind to!
Here are some Inspirational quotes for you...
For something to manifest in the physical domain it must have first existed as a thought.
The mind is powerful but delicate and sensitive. It can create almost anything it can conceive. However,
The mind is easily deceived and programmed. It can also be influenced by ones emotions, fear, sentimentality etc.
‘All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?’ Buddha.
‘If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.’ Peace Pilgrim.
‘Few is the number who think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts.’ Albert Einstein.
‘The heart is the first feature of working minds.’ Frank Lloyd Wright.
“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”
Vincent Van Gogh.
“No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.” Voltaire
Here’s a thought - Getting rid of limiting thoughts gives us a better chance at success and happiness. If we believe from the start that we’re unable to overcome our limits then we won´t even try and we’ll miss the chance to live our lives to the fullest.
How do these thoughts get there in the first place? It starts when we’re young. We pick up our beliefs from everyone we come into contact with, parents, friends, teachers, and yes, the media. These beliefs are then changed by our own experiences they can be difficult to get rid of. The mind stores our experiences and memories as ‘beliefs’ that effectively ‘control’ our actions. The beliefs we hold are not actually real, but our actions that result from them are. “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you are probably right” Henry Ford.
So, how do we change these beliefs?’ Here’s how we can start living life without self-limiting beliefs and how we can free ourselves from those self-imposed limits:
1. Self-limiting beliefs only exist in our minds! In order to get rid of them we need to remember that these boundaries exist only in our mind. Limitations can only affect us when we believe them to be real.
2. Start thinking big! An effective method to living without limits is to “Think Big”. Once we start dreaming about all the amazing things we can achieve in our life we destroy our self-imposed boundaries. Thinking big will also allow us to increase your motivation as we’ll be able to increase our desire for accomplishment.
3. Identify constraints and limitations. Our ability to identify constraints has a huge impact on whether we are able to free ourselves from limitations or not. The process of identifying a constraint is necessary to recognize that limitations only exist in our mind. Maybe we should ask ourselves what’s holding us back. It’s important that we start to identify constraints and believes that limit we. Once we started to identify what’s holding us back we can do the following:
4. Expand our limits. We can gain a lot of self-confidence by expanding our limits and boundaries. We can remove limits and start living without them outside of our comfort-zone.
Once we start testing out our limits we’ll notice that we can achieve a lot more than we thought we could. We need to discover that there are no limitations on what you can achieve in life.
Recognizing that they are limiting is first step. Beliefs become our thoughts so our thoughts give us a good indication of our limiting beliefs. When we say things like, ‘I can’t” or ‘it’s no use’, that’s negative and limiting. By understanding these are simply limitations, they are our assumption of fact, rather than actually fact, is a step forward.
Then we need to ask ourselves if the belief is true! Whatever our assumption, there is almost always an example which proves it’s not true.
The next step is to question if it needs to be true. Our Minds try and fill in the gaps. If something is unclear, unknown or uncertain our mind starts to form limiting beliefs which are not true. If President Obama had believed that ‘there will never been an African America President in our lifetime’ then it’s pretty certain that he would never have become President.
The next stage is simply to replace the limiting belief with a new one.
Before we realised that Limiting Beliefs existed we accepted that our self talk was true, now we can challenge them because we know they’re actually a voice in our heads conditioned by experiences. As with all beliefs, negative or positive, they start as one thought repeated enough until it’s accepted as “truth” by our mind. All these limitations are subconscious and work without ‘conscious thought’. The mind doesn’t recognize which ones help us and which limit us, therefore it’s up to us to be conscious of which are which and change them. Pos
itive thoughts can do this. Any positive thought you repeat often enough will over-write the negative ones. Achieving our aims is within our reach. We simply have to listen to what we’re telling ourselves.
Limiting beliefs block us on our path to success. Most people have them but those who achieve their goals have learnt to unblock them Changing limiting beliefs can take time but repeated thought and focus will do it. Start today and don’t allow your limiting beliefs to define you.
This article is a great example and has an exercise to help:
Have you ever been in a situation where you have to go the extra mile but gave up because you thought that was just how far you could go? Well, you’re not alone in this. Everyday so many of us just give up on goals and tasks because we don’t think we’re potentially able to go beyond our limits. That’s how most of us think. A successful person never took limits for limits if I could state it that way. A successful person looks at limits as a point where the most rewarding challenges come. A successful person looks at limits as an opportunity to learn about the hidden potentials, and accomplish what is perceived as impossible.
The limits that we see only exist in our minds. What we tell the mind is what we get. For instance, if you think you can’t climb a tree, you won’t be able to climb a tree because your mind reminds you that you’re unable to do it, so don’t you try it. Most of your limits are created by yourself by what you feed your mind and how you let your mind control you. Once you learn to change that, you’ll see that there is actually a possibility beyond your limitations. We can actually do much more than we think we can. Only, we have to switch the way we think, we have to change our mindset. It only takes the extra mile to see how much we are able to do.
Do these few little exercises to start changing the way you limit your mind:
Exercise: so we all know that exercising is good for your health and well being. But it can also help you become focused and committed to your goals if you take it seriously. Find an exercise that you like the most – it can be running, walking, swimming, or yoga. When you start doing it, you’ll see that there is only an amount of miles or minutes that you can reach, and beyond that is impossible. If you are used to running 30 minutes, that becomes your limit, and beyond that you can’t even make it alive. So, start doing this exercise to break the wall of limits you have in your mind. Every day or every week or month, start adding 5 more minutes to your normal time. And go progressively like that; you’ll see that the only limits you had were the limits you gave yourself. If you just take a little bit of that extra mile, that extra minute, you’ll see what more you can accomplish. This exercise will help you with other things in life. Whether it is a business, daily tasks, or projects, taking the extra mile is where the magic can happen. Challenge yourself with new short term goals and switch the way you think.
To sum it all up…